We tend to feel that our brains work in a logical, well-ordered manner. We believe things because they’re true. However, that is not always the case. Cognitive distortions, such as blaming, over-generalization, and jumping to conclusions all result in negative thinking. So challenging these cognitive distortions is a key aspect of cognitive behavioral therapy. “Control Fallacies” are one such way people’s distorted thinking can get the better of them.

What Are Control Fallacies?

Control fallacies are precisely that – fallacious beliefs about our control (or lack thereof) over a situation. There are two ways that these fallacies work:

• Hyper Control – In some situations, you may feel that you are so in control of everything that anything that goes wrong is inherently your fault. This is similar to personalization and leads to feeling that you have failed other people, and a deep sense of guilt. You may even feel responsible for other people’s behavior and thoughts and somehow believe that it has something to do with you.

• Out of Control – On the other end of the spectrum, we have a situation in which you feel completely out of control. In this situation, you feel that everything is outside of your control, or that you cannot have an impact on a situation, even though the truth is that you have control over many factors. In a way, you feel that you are a powerless victim of fate. It can lead to blaming others for situations where you had a degree of control, blaming luck for how things turned out, and focusing on other external forces you feel deserve the blame.

Who Is Most at Risk of Control Fallacies?

While many people can suffer from control fallacies, they most commonly affect individuals who suffer from depression, anxiety and panic disorders, and those who have abuse or trauma in their pasts.

How to Overcome Control Fallacies

While control fallacies can wreak havoc on your life, it is possible to exert a degree of control here. This applies to both types of distortion.

• Be Honest with Yourself – First, be honest with yourself about the level of control or responsibility involved. If you feel that it is your fault but you have no control over or responsibility here, realize that your brain is misinforming you. Likewise, if you feel that you have no control, but there are things within your control in the situation, such as poor quality of work in a rushed project, then take responsibility for those things.

• Question Yourself – Before deciding whether you are responsible or not, ask yourself a couple of questions. “Am I sure about this?” Use this opportunity to look deeper into the situation and determine where your responsibility lies. “Am I really sure about this?” Use this as a chance to reexamine the assumptions you’ve made or conclusions you have reached. Are they accurate and honest? Or are they informed by negative thinking, rather than facts?

In both types of control fallacy, understand that negative thinking is the cause. When you feel that you’re either being controlled by external forces, or you feel that everything is your responsibility, focus on your breathing and look more deeply into the situation.

By David Shepard

The last nine months have been quite an adjustment for everyone around the world. Forced isolation, worries about getting Coronavirus, increased depression and anxiety, job loss and death are among the numerous things we have had to deal with during this global pandemic. As California begins another Shelter in Place Order, it is important to reflect on how you can take care of yourself, so that you can go through this quarantine in a way that is healthy and beneficial for you.

Our bodies are a collection of systems that all work together to keep us functioning

Our bodies are a collection of systems that all work together to keep us functioning. If there is a problem with one system, it disrupts the whole system. So when looking at how you want to take care of yourself during the Shelter in Place Orders, you have to focus on both your physical system and your mental system.

Things that are important for your physical system to function well are

• to be mindful of what put in your body

• how you use your body

• listening to your body

• and caring for your body

Some examples of caring for you physical system include

• getting eight hours of sleep every night

• eating foods low in sugar, fat, and sodium

• drinking eight glasses of water

• and doing at least twenty minutes of physical exercise daily

Things that are important for your mental system include

• doing things you enjoy

• being present during daily activities

• connecting with people you care about

• setting and achieving goals

• having compassion for yourself and others

• and allowing yourself to experience both positive and negative emotions as they come

Some examples of caring for your mental system are

• walking around a park with a loved one

• practicing deep breathing exercises when you feel anxious

• remembering that things are temporary when feeling discouraged

• journaling when you’re over thinking

• drawing when you feel sad

• or taking a warm bath with music when you’re feeling stressed

Doing things that nurture both your physical and mental systems are the key to adjusting to another Shelter in Place Order.

If you are interested in getting support on how to stay happy and healthy during this second Shelter in Place Order, please contact us at Therapynowsf for your free consultation.

By David Shepard

With the devastating impact of coronavirus on the world, and the uncertainty of how long its adverse consequences will affect our lives, many people have developed increased anxiety. The worry and fears of possibly getting coronavirus every time you leave your house or come into contact with another person can be overwhelming. Continuous worries like this cause anxiety that can have a negative impact on your physical health and emotional health. So how can one reduce this anxiety while still living in a world plagued by coronavirus?

deep breathing exercises

One proven technique that has been shown to reduce anxiety is intentional deep breathing exercises.

In addition to anxiety, deep breathing exercises have been associated with meditation, mindfulness, praying, anger management and reduction of depression. The reason why deep breathing exercises are so good for anxiety is because this type of breathing stimulates our parasympathetic nervous system, which is the system in our body that promotes feelings of relaxation. Research has also shown that when practiced regularly, intentional deep breathing exercises lower cortisol levels, which relate to stress.

The great thing about intentional deep breathing exercises is that it’s free to do, you can do it anywhere, and you don’t need any equipment to do it. There are many different ways to do intentional deep breathing exercises. One way of doing intentional deep breathing is called box breathing.

box breathing

To do box breathing, you…

1. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose for a count of four seconds.

2. Then you hold that air in for another four seconds.

3. Then you slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of four seconds.

4. You repeat this whole process again after four seconds, which makes this a square pattern.

To see a major impact of box breathing or intentional deep breathing in general, you have to practice it consistently.  Practicing box breathing one to two times a day will get results of reduced anxiety and stress.  Also, engaging in these exercises for five to ten minutes is ideal.

If you are interested in additional help tackling anxiety, please contact us at TherapyNowSF for your free consultation. 

By Cheryl Tien, M.S.

Regardless of your political beliefs, you may be experiencing some stress, worry, or anxiety as we approach election day on November 3rd. These feelings may be heightened with the current COVID-19 global pandemic. During these times, it’s important to be sure to pay attention to how your body is responding to what you are reading or seeing. Listed below are some tips to cope with your election-related stress.

1. Take media breaks. You might be feeling like you need to keep up with the news, especially with everything that we have happening in our communities right now. But remember that the news media’s goal is to shock and get strong reactions from us so that we keep watching. Consider taking breaks from watching or reading the news to give yourself a chance to process and calm down after taking it all in.
   

2. Try to focus on what you can control. Hearing any news can be stressful, but election news could feel particularly stressful. You may have feelings of losing control or hopelessness. Focusing on the things in your life that you can control will help reduce those feelings. These things don’t necessarily have to be election-related activities unless you want them to be. Is there a new hobby you’ve been thinking about picking up?  Doing something new or giving yourself other things to focus on will help distract you from the news.
   

3. Plan for how you’re spending election night. If you’re worried about election night, think about the kind of support you might want for that night. Do you want to be around your loved ones? Do a virtual election night party. Rather spend time with yourself but are worried you might be stressed out? Plan to practice lots of self-care that day. Have a bubble bath, do that face mask, or play those video games!
   

4. Plan a fun event for after election day. Having something to look forward to after the election will help you focus less on the election and more on other things happening in your life. Or it could just a planned election debrief you have with your support networks to help you process. Either way, it’s important to make sure you’re finding ways to take care of your self after the election.  

By Dr. Andrea Zorbas

Most of us have used a mental filter in many areas of our lives. It may have been work, school, relationships, or even our own abilities. A mental filter is similar to overgeneralizing where you focus your attention on one negative piece of information and filter out everything else.

Examples of Mental Filters

• Can you think of a time where your romantic partner did something hurtful and then apologized and tried to make up for it, but you filtered out all the times when they have done nice things for you and focused on the one negative time?

• Or that time when your boss gave you a criticism and you only focused on that criticism, forgetting all the times where she told you positives about your performance.

So how do you deal with Mental Filters?

The first step is noticing that you are doing it. By being able to say to yourself, “I’m filtering out all the positives and just focusing on this one negative thing”. Then remind yourself of the positives to balance out your thinking.

access this link to read the complete article at www.sfist.com:

With Unhealthy Air Conditions Hanging Over San Francisco, Residents Struggle With Their Mental Health — Isolated Indoors

By Pooja Mamidanna, AMFT

Note: Artist Unknown

I would like to provide some education on the importance of how seeking happiness first begins with you and then amongst your larger community.

As human beings, we often seek most of our happiness from external objects (friendships, relationships, family, materialistic goods, etc.) 

Human beings are definitely relational beings, we crave that emotional connection. However, due to our cultural upbringing, attachment styles can be varied. If we did not receive the attachment we required during our childhood; this can cause a lot of interpersonal/intrapersonal stressors throughout our lifespan. As we try to navigate our lives in our relationships, these attachment issues that have not been worked through show up in different areas of our lives.

To find happiness and work through this, it is important to understand that self-love and happiness can be two sides of the same coin. It first begins with YOU, then it begins seeking this through other mediums. The greatest relationship you must have first is with yourself. Only when one spends time alone and is able to find their happiness within, will everything else fall into place. 

The problem of seeking happiness from external objects is, we tend to have a lot of “expectations” from others. When these expectations are not met, we start to project our emotions in these relationships and we are left with disappointment.

Furthermore, as a society, there are a lot of cultural factors that can come in the way of seeking our own happiness (such as our religious, ethnic, and cultural norms).

Therefore, it is important to assess/reflect:

1.)   How can you start taking care of yourself and loving yourself?

2.)   How can you begin to depend on yourself?

3.)   How can you manage the expectations and irrational thoughts we hold on others?

4.)   How can we have better personal boundaries with all domains in our life?

If you are struggling with this and can relate, psychotherapy would be a good place to start as well as reading literature and books.

You can also, look up the website (therapistaid.com) there are plenty of resources there that are easy to read and can help you begin thinking and working on this.

By Pooja Mamidanna, AMFT

BIPOC = Black, Indigenous and People of Color.

July is BIPOC Mental Health Awareness Month. I wanted to use this blog post to provide education on how this movement started and how can we as individuals do our part to support this.

“This movement was acknowledged in June 2008 by Bebe Moore Campbell (An American Author, journalist, teacher and mental health advocate) to bring awareness to the unique struggles that underrepresented groups face in regard to mental illness in the United States. Bebe worked tirelessly to shed light on the mental health needs of the Black community and other underrepresented communities. In effort to continue the visionary work of Bebe Moore Campbell, each year Mental Health America develops a public education campaign dedicated to addressing the needs of BIPOC.”  

As an immigrant woman of color, there is not a day that goes by when I don’t reflect on the privilege I hold in my life. The reflection of my privilege began as a young child. When you are raised in an immigrant family, you are always educated on this. My family worked hard for generations to provide me with this life.

I grew up in an orthodox South Indian family. While I was very happy to learn about my family’s ethics/values towards their professional goals, I was also disappointed with some of the systemic racist ideologies they had of other populations of color! I can reflect back to being in the second grade, questioning and arguing with their ideologies. This is something I still do with my family as well, by providing constant education to dismantle the antiracist ideologies present in my family’s belief system.

My education towards cultural competency began at my school. I had the privilege of studying in an international school from kindergarten to grade 12, I had friends from different walks of life and very few South Asian classmates. Majority of my friends are biracial and have multiethnic backgrounds.

My education towards cultural humility began, when I started my journey studying psychology and pursuing my career to be a Psychotherapist. I’m grateful to my amazing professors, clinical supervisors and mentors for challenging me further and making me reflect on the privileges I bring into the therapy room.

The reason I’m writing about privilege is, right now more than ever, our brothers and sisters from these beautiful communities need us to step up our game of advocacy.

We are all aware of the COVID -19 racial pandemic we are currently residing in. This ongoing multigenerational racial trauma causes severe impairments for the mental health and wellbeing for our communities of color. 

We need to come together in solidarity to collectively grow and heal together as a community.

It really is simple- for any systemic change to occur we first need to start with our personal and professional communities). It is time to start having tough conversations that might feel uncomfortable at first. However, you will only grow as an individual when you learn to sit with the discomfort. We need to put in the work by engaging in the following steps:

1.) SELF AWARENESS

Recognizing your own antiracist ideologies

2.) SELF EDUCATION

What do you know? What don’t you know? What would you like to learn?

3.) SELF REFLECTION

Reflecting on what you have been taught. What are you holding onto?).

4.) ACTION/MAINTENANCE

Now that you are more educated and will continue to educate yourself, what are some steps you’re going to take to be an advocate?

Although I might have been provided this strong educational foundation as a child and through my career as a Psychologist, I am STILL learning every day.  I am constantly reflecting, educating myself and advocating in the work that I engage in, personally and professionally.

Remember this is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Let’s continue to learn, reflect, educate and advocate.

Check out the resources below to learn more, reflect, educate and advocate.

Mental Health America BIPOC MENTAL HEALTH MONTH

https://mhanational.org/bipoc-mental-health

MH America : In the Open Podcast Series

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/in-the-open/id1462368967?i=1000481713875

The BIPOC Project

https://www.thebipocproject.org/about-us

The Happiness Lab: How to be a better Ally (podcast )

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/id1474245040?i=1000480086006

Guide to Being an Anti-Racism Activist: 

https://www.thoughtco.com/things-you-can-do-to-help-end-racism-3026187

Anti-racism resources:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRlF2_zhNe86SGgHa6-VlBO-QgirITwCTugSfKie5Fs/mobilebasic

Guide to Ally Ship

https://guidetoallyship.com/

The Mother of all Black Lives Matter Resource Doc

https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/e/2PACX-1vSrT26HMWX-_hlLfiyy9s95erjkOZVJdroXYkU-miaHRk58duAnJIUWKxImRkTITsYhwaFkghS8sfIF/pub?utm_medium=shoppable&utm_source=planoly#h.c0pszbm7zg89

Guidelines for Being Strong White Allies

https://www.racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/kivel3.pdf

How Latinx People Can Fight Anti-Black Racism in Our Own Culture

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-latinx-people-can-fight-anti-black-racism-in-our-own-culture

Asian Ally ship & Accountability

http://www.bgdblog.org/2015/02/become-oppressive-ally-asians-anti-blackness-accountability/

Family­Care, Community­Care and Self­Care Tool Kit: Healing in the Face of Cultural Trauma: 

https://d3i6fh83elv35t.cloudfront.net/newshour/app/uploads/2016/07/07-20-16-EEC-Trauma-Response-Community-and-SelfCare-TookKit-1.pdf

#BIPOCMentalHealthMonth⁠ #mentalhealthamerica⁠

#ImpactOfTrauma⁠

#BIPOCMentalHealthAwarenessMonth⁠

#BIPOCmhm⁠

#BIPOCmhm20 #mentalhealthareness #mentalhealthadvocate #psychology 

By Pooja Mamidanna AMFT (103485)

Relationships requires patience, time, and hard work. This applies to any relationship you hold in your life, be it a professional or personal one.

Something that I learnt from my therapist and like to educate my clients on are the 4 C’s that constitute a healthy relationship:

1.CARINGNESS

It is important to show mutual respect and authenticity in your relationship. This will help strengthen your relationship.

2.COMPASSION

We need to be empathetic and kind to other individuals. As the saying goes “you must treat others how you wish to be treated”.  

3. COMMUNICATION

It is imperative to not use degrading language, paying special attention to our non-body language (making sure your tone of voice matches facial expressions), and it is useful to communicate in I statements.

If you are not getting something from a relationship, it useful to communicate with others what your expectations are, what you want/need, and what is currently missing from the relationship.

As human beings are not mind readers, despite having known someone for years, months etc. you need to communicate what you are thinking and feeling.

4.COMMITMENT

A relationship is built on trust and honesty, once that has been broken it becomes harder to heal from this. 

When utilizing the 4 C’s think of it as a new seed you have just potted. In order for the plant to grow you need to care, nurture and nourish it. Over time the sapling grows, gaining leaves, branches, and stronger roots. It becomes healthy with the right handling and care. Such are human relationships as well. 

Resources:

THINKING ERRORS

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/cbt-thinking-errors.pdf

REFLECTION COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/reflections-communication.pdf

RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT RESOLUTION

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/relationship-conflict-resolution.pdf

I STATEMENTS

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/i-statements.pdf

FAIR FIGHTING RULES

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/fair-fighting-rules.pdf

By David Shepard

In a society fueled by ads, entertainment and social media highlighting certain body types as ideal or perfect, it’s no wonder why so many people struggle with body dissatisfaction, dieting, and obsessions over image. The marketing industry makes billions of dollars off of our insecurities. So how does one maintain a positive body image while hearing so many messages telling you that your body is not good enough and that you need to look like something you are not? Achieving a positive body image does not come from one single change or step, but rather a reorganizing of multiple aspects of one’s life.

The aspects that are important to nurture on your journey to body positivity are:

• health

• self care

• self-love

• your own definition of beauty

• and building community

To start moving towards a positive body image, it’s important to know what to move away from and what to move towards. Having a positive body image involves being open to a lifetime of exploration of tools that help you feel freedom around your body image with love, acceptance, appreciation and uniqueness of your body. Having a static goal oriented view of what your body should be only plays into the message that something is wrong with your body. Instead of focusing on a weight loss program or step by step program, focus on a whole person health model.

A whole person health model involves a practical journey of self-inquiry based on health, self care and self-love. So there is no idealized image of a healthy person or body type that you are working to be. Instead you are coming to understand and celebrate the diversity of beauty and health. Strict rules on dieting and exercising are replaced with attunement of your body and health through self-care.

The last important aspect of feeling positive about your body image is to be around people who support positive self talk around body image and who also celebrate the diversity of beauty. Because we are constantly receiving messages from the world about idealized ways of being, it’s important that we nurture a community of people around us that send messages of love, diversity, and acceptance.

If you are wanting support on your journey to body positivity, please contact us at Therapynowsf for your free consultation.

By Annika Miyamoto

Sometimes life can throw us a curve ball whether it’s a recent breakup of a longterm relationship or divorce. Or sometimes the curve ball means the end of a job or career and in some frightening cases a new medical diagnosis. But life changes do not always have to be negative, rather, they can be somewhat neutral or even welcomed changes. The common denominator for all of these situations is that often times feelings of fear or different emotions can accompany any sort of change in one’s life that brings up “stuff”. And how does one manage or makes sense of the “stuff” that comes up emotionally for them during life changes?

Seeking therapy is not always for the purposes of dealing with major depression or other psychological diagnoses. Rather it can be a safe place, free from judgment, for someone to openly talk about what is coming up for them emotionally in dealing with change. There are a myriad of ways a therapist can support someone during unsure times whether it is teaching new coping skills or listening. Therapy can offer new perspectives and increased self-confidence as one eases into the next chapter of life. 

By Pooja Mamidanna AMFT (103485)

On March 19th 2020 California issued the state wide shelter in place order due to COVID-19. It been more than a month. This has been quite the ongoing adjustment for us all trying to navigate our lives during this pandemic personally and professionally. 

I have noticed with my partner, friends/family, clients and myself the roller coaster of emotions one can be experiencing. For instance, we can go through a few days or a week of “feeling really good for a few days, feeling okay/alright, feeling highly anxious/stressed, feelings of frustration/irritability/anger and feeling of loneliness and sadness.”

As human beings when things are not going the way we wish for them to be going, when things are wrong and not right; we tend to focus only on what is wrong in our lives. We do not reflect on what Is right or the positive aspects in our lives. I have been guilty of doing this myself as well over the last month, when I am getting in the cycle of anxiety. 

Something that I try to live my life by and what I educate my clients, friends, and family on the “silver lining or that light at the end of the tunnel”. During this time, I gently encourage you to utilize this following mindset. I am not going to lie; some days are easier said than done. However, it has really been helpful for myself as well as when I am teaching my clients about focusing on what is right in their lives; the positives. By thinking about the silver lining. 

This can be done by challenging your mind, body and soul to get out of the corona blues funk and to think about:

• How can you use your time in a way that benefits you? (Developing that New Skill set for your personal and professional lives or Hobby you have always wanted to)

• Are there some tv shows, movies or documentaries you want to catch up on?

• New and Old friends/family you want to check in with? (I am sure we are also tired by now about the virtual work meetings and virtual socials, so maybe writing them an email or snail mail maybe?)

• Perhaps creating a daily gratitude journal that will help? (Starting your day and ending your day with “two things you are grateful for that happened in the day or you were proud”.)

• Creating a daily Routine. (Making sure you plan your day, week and weekends)

• Developing healthy habits such as eating healthy, healthy sleeping habits and exercise.

(I love lifting weights but have no stamina when it comes to HIIT work outs or yoga, I have been trying to build my skills on this.) There are many free resources that are available on the internet. The Fitness and Health industry are hosting live work out sessions, meditation and yoga sessions. Take advantage of your resources. I have been hosting virtual work out sessions with my friends and family.

I guess what I am trying to say is, we are all slowed down right now and we are not going to get this time back as well. So, let’s try to look at this with a positive spin of developing some skills, engaging in a new hobby, doing some DIY home projects, practicing gratitude etc. I guarantee you with that positive intention and mindset, these things can also make you feel good about yourself.

The truth is once this is all over in due time, we will come out of this stronger than ever. Until then, be safe, stay healthy and positive with your mindset.

You have got this!

Resources

Self-Care Tips

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/self-care-tips.pdf

Positive Steps to well-being

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/positive-steps-to-wellbeing.pdf

Gratitude Journal

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/gratitude-journal-three-good-things.pdf

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/gratitude-journal.pdf

By Neko Milton

The measure of our success during these unparalleled times will be how well we cope today, at this very moment. What’s reassuring is that we have easy, internal tools readily available to us. One important tool is our capacity for positive emotions. Even when it feels paradoxical, feeling positive emotions (love, gratitude, joy) in the midst of a global crisis can promote resilience (Fredrickson, Tugade, Waugh, & Larkin, 2003).

“Resilience” is having the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity. Resilient people know how to manage stress effectively to optimize performance, engagement, and focus. And importantly, resilient people also allow themselves time to rest. Then they repeat the cycle. After sufficient rest, they can focus their attention to take on difficult tasks. This, of course, is the challenge. In the midst of prolonged stress, how can we cope?

Social connection: Keep your physical distance, but stay connected

One of our greatest human strengths is our desire to connect, to help, and to give to others in times of stress. We crave hugs, closeness, and togetherness. The biggest change in our lives is having regular, face-to-face social interaction. But what is especially challenging about the COVID-19 pandemic is that there are mental health challenges that may arise as a consequence of the social isolation required of us in order to protect others from the spread of the virus. In many ways, this viral pandemic may be fueling a loneliness pandemic (Santos & Zaki, 2020). So remember to search for the light in these dark times. 

Reference: 

Fredrickson B.L., Tugade M.M., Waugh C.E., Larkin G. (2003). What good are positive emotions in crises?: A prospective study of resilience and emotions following the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11th, 2001 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 84, 365–376

Santos, L. & Zaki, J. (The Happiness Lab). (2020, March 16). Coronavirus BONUS: Beat Your Isolation Loneliness [Audio podcast]. Retrieved from https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coronavirus-bonus-beat-your-isolation-loneliness/id1474245040?i=1000468548405

By Neko Milton

What is it: Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Websites like YouTube, Instagram and Snapchat allow kids to send hurtful, ongoing messages to other children 24 hours a day. Some sites, such as Instagram, allow messages to be left anonymously.

What to look for: Many of the warning signs that cyberbullying is occurring happen around a child’s use of their device. Some warning signs include; 

• Noticeable increases or decreases in device use, including texting.

• A child exhibits emotional responses (laughter, anger, upset) to what is happening on their device.

• A child hides their screen or device when others are near, and avoids discussion about what they are doing on their device.

• Social media accounts are shut down or new ones appear.

• A child starts to avoid social situations, even those that were enjoyed in the past.

• A child becomes withdrawn or depressed, or loses interest in people and activities.

What to do: If you notice warning signs that a child may be involved in cyberbullying take steps to investigate that child’s digital behavior; 

• Observe your child for signs they might be being bullied 

  • have open-ended conversations where you can learn what is really going on at school so that you can take the appropriate steps to rectify the situation. Most importantly, let your child know you will help them and that they should try not to fight back

• Teach your child how to handle being bullied

  • Practice scenarios at home where your child learns how to ignore a bully and/or develop assertive strategies for coping with bullying. 

• Support

  • Peers, mentors, and trusted adults can sometimes intervene publicly to positively influence a situation where negative or hurtful content posts about a child. Public Intervention can include posting positive comments about the person targeted with bullying to try to shift the conversation in a positive direction. It can also help to reach out to the child who is bullying and the target of the bullying to express your concern. If possible, try to determine if more professional support is needed for those involved, such as speaking with a guidance counselor or mental health professional. 

References:

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/bullying

https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/how-to-deal-with-haters

https://www.stopbullying.gov/bullying/roles-kids-play

By Pooja Mamidanna AMFT (103485)

Firstly, if you’re reading this, and you might not have had experience with teletherapy in the past I want you to be extremely proud of yourself. As during this time of crisis, you’re being brave and open to trying this new process out with your therapist and wanting to be engaged in your treatment.

If you are brand new to therapy and have not had experience in the past with in person therapy or teletherapy (as currently due to shelter in place, most providers are still accepting new clients through telehealth), I want you to be proud on how courageous you are to take this step to take care of yourself during this time. 

1. I have been a consumer of teletherapy as well. When I first started out what helped me, I believe is expressing my anxiety, fears, and ambivalence to teletherapy with my therapist.

2. Processing with your therapist how the session went for you towards the end (during the last 10-15 minutes of the session), what you liked, what are somethings that you did not feel comfortable with and what are you hoping to get more out of the session.

With my clients as well as being a client myself, I have found this extremely useful in having this space and providing feedback to my therapist. 

1. The importance of engaging in a self-care activity once you’re done with therapy. I am sure sometimes you have gone to your therapist’s office and you have left feeling really happy and at other times you have gone to therapy and you’ve left feeling more upset and gloomier with what came out of the session.

2. I always educate my clients on the significance of mindfully engaging in a self-care activity for the efforts made by them in and out of the therapy session. 

This does not have to be something big it can be as simple as taking a hot bath when you get home, drinking your favorite beverage, cooking your favorite meal, going for a walk/run, etc.

1. Lastly, I came across this wonderful Tool Kit created by a therapist; on a therapist’s group I am part of. 

I hope it helps:

https://7c9c481e-3be3-4cf6-b984-23e370f6db25.filesusr.com/ugd/193308_9a699b61f1c64f198b5e8891b470fd29.pdf?fbclid=IwAR2qA3ejkvGckWNGIdGRH103KTvrEXwfUyiHUJ203SuNAaAkVcHUeOkm5Rk

Take care of yourselves and Stay safe. We will get through this.

By David Shepard

The Coronavirus has impacted the whole world and has dramatically changed everyone’s lives. Part of this change has been for many of us to have to stay at home until this pandemic is over. Having to stay at home for an extended amount of time can be hard for anyone, especially when society is dealing with a major disruption and constantly filled with panic. So how does one cope with having to stay at home and not be overwhelmed or unproductive?

remember this is all temporary

One of the very first things that can help with this transition to a Shelter In Place order is to remember this is all temporary.

The world has experienced deadly diseases before and survived. The world has experienced major disruptions and has survived.

Giving into panic or over thinking about the negative impact of the Coronavirus does not change what is happening and does not benefit you in anyway. Accepting the current state of things, no matter how disruptive they may be, is the first step to being able to let go and focus on the things that you can control and the things that make you feel good.

Focusing on positive things or things you can control might be hard during times like this but it does not mean that it is not possible.

Something that can help with over thinking and panicking is mindfulness. 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is about choosing to focus on something in your present environment and getting out of your head (thoughts).

The best way to practice mindfulness is to do meditation. There are many different types of meditations that can help you practice mindfulness. Youtube has plenty of different meditations that you can try. Also there are many free meditation apps for phones if that’s more convenient. 

Structure

Another way to cope with the stay at home order mentally is to keep some kind of structure.

Having a structure/routine tends to make people feel safe and comfortable. Putting structure in place could mean things like waking up at a set time, working remotely during certain hours (if working from home), set times to eat, set times to work out, set times to make phone calls to loved ones, set time to do fun activities, etc.  

Work Out

Besides the mental aspect, another important area to focus on is your physical health.

Because you are stuck in the house, and there is no access to gyms and limited access to exercise outside of your house, staying active at home becomes really important. Sitting around and eating without physical activity can negatively impact your health.

Luckily there are many home workout videos online, on youtube, and on phone apps. You don’t need equipment or even a lot of space (running in place for 20mins). Having a daily physical activity for 20mins should be a part of your structured day. 

Check In

Lastly, one of the most important aspects that you should nurture during this time is your emotional health.

Doing things such as putting on clothes, not staying in your pajamas all day; can make someone feel good even if they are not going outside the house. One of the best ways to nurture your emotional health is to make phone calls (video calls if possible) to loved ones and friends. Staying connected and socializing with people that you care about is important during this difficult time.

If you are finding yourself having a hard time dealing with the stay at home order or consequences of the stay at home order (job, wedding postponement, etc), please contact us at Therapy Now SF for your free consultation.

By Annika Miyamoto

The onslaught of Coronavirus complete with the shelter-in-place order can leave some folks feeling a bit disoriented as daily routines have been squashed for the time being. Waking up in the morning can especially feel strange as many are forced to either work from home, not report to work at all, and keep the little ones home. Without a purpose to get up and start the day, it might be tempting to stay in pajamas all day and binge watch the latest shows on Netflix to curb fear and anxiety surrounding the current pandemic. This way of coping may work for a day or two until the anxiety creeps back in reminding you of your recent decrease in productivity which can leave you feeling… just blah.

First things first

First things first, it is necessary to acknowledge the realness of the Coronavirus pandemic and cut yourself some slack as these are scary times for everyone. The immense anxiety your body is feeling is more than enough to derail attempts at motivation and concentration. Self-care has never been so important as it is now as stress has been shown to lower immune response.

Here are some key elements that can help you pull through

1. Maintain your pre-Coronavirus sleep schedule

2. Get out of bed in the morning and go through your pre-Coronavirus routine (e.g., brush your teeth, eat breakfast, get dressed) even if you don’t have anywhere to go

3. Write down a daily schedule to maintain a sense of structure and productivity; tasks can take your focus away from the current state of things

4. Stay connected with friends and family via phone or videoconferencing

5. Eat healthy and stay hydrated

6. Get outside for at least 30 minutes each day while maintaining social distancing guidelines

By Pooja Mamidanna AMFT (103485)

1. Processing with your client about “this new transition of not being able to meet with you at the clinic/private practice any more”. Validating their feeling and praising client for being open to trying telehealth out and continuing to be engaged in their treatment.

2. Normalizing the anxiety levels that are prevalent due to pandemic crisis. Checking in with your client about creating a mental health maintenance self-care plan. 

I have provided teletherapy with clients pre COVID 19 and currently during COVID -19. A lot of my clients currently have been curious to ask me how my family and myself are dealing with our anxieties related to the pandemic?  Or what have I been doing at home during shelter in place? I have found for myself personally, self-disclosing to my clients about my daily routine and coping skills I have been employing which have been useful to them.

1. I have also noticed how giving client HW assignments has been helpful to keep them busy during sessions.

2. In-between sessions I also do my own research of sharing with my clients some resources that I think might be helpful to maintain their physical and mental health such as (free online classes, work out classes, meditation applications, books to read, podcasts etc.). My clients have appreciated this and this has been helpful to them.

3. During the last 10-15 minutes of the session as we begin to wrap our session, I always leave room at the end of the session to provide my client the space to process on how this session went for them (what they liked and what could have been different).

4. Having Group consultations with my colleagues has been helpful as well (discussing and sharing tips with each other about what has been useful and what hasn’t).

By Pooja Mamidanna AMFT (103485)

The last few weeks have been stressful, challenging and a confusing time to all, trying to navigate ourselves during this pandemic. Globally we are currently functioning in crisis mode in our personal and professional lifestyles. 

Most states have issued a “shelter in place”. During this time, I would like to provide you with some useful guidelines to help navigate through this process, for our mental health providers offering teletherapy and for mental health consumers seeking teletherapy.

A lot of health care professionals are moving towards Teletherapy to continue to provide support during this crisis. 

What is Tele therapy?

Telehealth is provision of health care services, including mental health services via telephone, internet, or other electronic means.

Professionals who provide counseling or psychotherapy services in person or via telephone and internet must be licensed in their respective state (adhering to their state licensing guidelines). 

How does it work for therapists?

• A therapist must first assess if the client is suitable for telehealth.

• A therapist must obtain informed consent from the client for teletherapy (This can be verbal or written, this consent must be documented in your progress notes).

• It is important the consent from educates the client on prospective risks and limitations of obtaining services through telehealth.

• The client must be provided the therapists licensing/registration number and the type of license/registration.

• While documenting your progress notes it is useful to get from the client, their address of present location at the beginning of each telehealth therapy session.

• It is also important for the therapist to document in their progress notes provision of emergency/crisis resources to client in their geographic area such as (Suicide hot line, crisis help line, 911, Mental Health Urgent Care, and Emergency Psychiatric Services).

• It is significant to use best practices for telehealth that adhere to client’s confidentiality and HIPPA. 

Below are some Tele health practices that follow these protocols:

Doxy Me

https://doxy.me

Thera Nest

https://theranest.com/hipaa-compliant-video-conferencing/

Simple Practice

https://www.simplepractice.com

Vsee

https://vsee.com

These are some good resources for Clinicians who are new to Telehealth and want some more education:

https://www.camft.org/Resources/Legal-Articles/Legal-Department-Staff-Articles/Telehealth-FAQS-for-Therapists-During-COVID-19

https://blog.therapynotes.com/the-therapists-telehealth-guide-for-covid-19

https://catalog.pesi.com/Search?search=telehealth

By Pooja Mamidanna

Over the years we have seen a rapid increase with the immigration of communities of color in the United States. As a woman of color (Asian Indian) living in the United States for the past four years, I have noticed how people of color/immigrants struggle to find a voice in discourses around practice, policy, physical and mental health. Individuals of these communities are often left feeling invisible and unheard. These communities are often also oppressed with challenging matters personally and professionally while getting accustomed to a new host country/culture. 

Over the past few months the Asian Community has been facing added stressors regarding the worldwide xenophobic (anti-immigrant) and racist opinions emerging from the coronavirus. 

During these times as each of us are attempting to navigate our lives through this public health emergency, it is also imperative for us to be mindful about how we’re interacting and treating our fellow brother/sisters from these different communities. 

I am sure each of us can remember hearing this saying said to us when we were children “When you’re pointing one finger at someone else always remember there are three fingers that are pointing right back at you”. It every easy to put the blame on someone else and not think about the consequences of how we might make someone feel.

Through these times I encourage you to think of how a person from this racial and ethnic orientation must be feeling while they are battling overt microaggression’s from society, worried about their own physical/mental health, and how they might be worried sick about their family members that are still present in their country of origin. 

I gently encourage you to put yourself in their shoes and reflect on how you might feel if you were in that situation. Let’s come together and be mindful on our interactions and support one another through this crisis.

I have added below here a few articles that are tailored to xenophobia:

https://nextshark.com/50-cent-trump-china-coronavirus/

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1125441

I have also added below good resources for you to learn more about how we can support one another:

https://www.kqed.org/news/11800025/to-be-asian-with-a-face-mask-during-the-coronavirus-outbreak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VjCJ4nVlvA&t=1973s

Here are also a few tips to take care of yourself during this crisis:

https://www.cnet.com/news/us-declares-coronavirus-a-public-health-emergency/

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/health/fl-ne-coronavirus-tips-20200207-n42aod2lkbezrdq2hczwot7ruy-story.html

https://time.com/5775359/coronavirus-prevention-tips/