Nothing Is Ever Black and White, and That’s Okay
You’ve probably heard the phrase “nothing is ever black and white.” This definitely holds true in the world at large, especially when dealing with humans, relationships, and emotions. This article will detail what black and white thinking is, what causes it, and the types of problems it can cause, as well as resources to get yourself into a more flexible way of thinking.
Definition
Black and white thinking is a phrase for when someone thinks or feels in absolutes. A situation is either right or wrong, good or bad, and there is no in-between. Many mental health professionals feel that this thinking pattern is a cognitive distortion because although certain situations do necessarily call for definitive decisions, the world generally doesn’t work in such a “one or the other” way.
Causes
Black and white thinking could be the cause of another mental health struggle or personality disorder. There are three conditions often associated with black and white thinking.
Narcissism
Narcissism is a personality disorder in which someone believes that who they are, what they think, and what they believe is the end all and be all, and that anyone who goes against them is wrong. Their only interest is themselves, which is why the name for this condition stems from the Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his reflection in a pool and thus drowned trying to attain the reflection’s love.
Anxiety/Depression
People struggling with anxiety and/or depression often think that change or positive possibilities to solutions are non-existent or impossible.
Borderline Personality Disorder
This disorder can often be accompanied by overpowering feelings of anger, anxiousness, or extreme sadness that the person feels they cannot overcome. People suffering from borderline personality disorder often think in absolutes.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Commonly referred to as OCD, people who suffer from this sometimes find comfort or consistency in black and white thinking. Instead of feeling rigid, as others might see it, this gives them a feeling of control.
Effects of Black and White Thinking
Depending on where this type of thinking stems from, it can affect different parts of your life.
Relationships
When most of us can look at a situation and see both sides, or know that there are gray areas, it can be difficult to have a conversation or relationship with someone who can only see things one way or another.
Education
When learning experiences are qualified as passing or failing, a person who thinks in black and white might then qualify themselves as good or bad, a success or a failure.
Job Possibilities
Most jobs require compromise with colleagues and critical or creative writing for problem solving. Black and white thinking can create rigidity which does not fare well for a shared work situation.
Eating Habits
Black and white thinking can cause people to also view foods as good or bad, which can create a lot of anxiety regarding food choices and an unhealthy view of nourishment.
How to Reframe Your Thinking
Black and white thinking can be unlearned. Reframe your mindset into a “growth mindset,” which allows for flexibility and change. Challenge yourself to see the other side of a situation. Try to avoid using words such as ‘always’ or ‘never.’ Watch for changes in the world around you and try to see where change can be beneficial or where it has not caused catastrophe. Learn to ask for help and know that being able to accept the fluidity of the world can actually make things easier to deal with. It’s okay to not be in control of everything.