Navigating Family Dynamics
It is normal for people within a family to experience disagreements, misunderstandings, and selfishness once in a while. Difficulties and challenges are far from uncommon. However, if the relationships you have with family members are extremely challenging, examining the relationship is often a good way to start the process of change.
The first thing to consider is whether you feel judged or unsafe. If abuse is present, limiting contact with the person is often the right step to take. Research indicates being in conflict with people over a long period can have health impacts.
However, some people are dealing with overly dramatic family members, small annoyances, frustrating behavior, and overall negativity. If that’s the situation you find yourself in, there are methods to make things less stressful. We’ll share information on that below.
Interacting with Challenging Members of the Family
It can be a challenge to communicate with someone who is difficult to talk to. If they resort to bullying, manipulation, or anger, choosing not to interact may be the best option. Nobody deserves to be emotionally abused in this manner. However, if the person is just hard to get along with, we have some tips.
Stay away from sensitive topics and “hot” subjects.
Always remain aware of your emotions.
Be intentional in the way you interact with the person.
Don’t attempt to run in and fix situations they cause.
Avoid any behaviors that could be construed as people-pleasing.
Hold appropriate boundaries by determining what you will and won’t do
Managing Challenging Family Relationships
If you’re having issues in a challenging relationship with someone in your family, the first thing to do is tell yourself you don’t control what the other person does, but you do control your reactions. This can often neutralize some of the issues you are experiencing.
Take time to sit down and think through the things you appreciate about this person. Try to push out of your mind the things that make them hard to spend time with. When you have some positive traits in mind, you may focus less on their faults when you are in their presence.
Another method to manage these relationships is by changing the environment. Select a spot to meet where both of you will feel calmer. Choose a public area since that often makes people act on their best behavior. It’s less likely the person will cause a scene or draw attention.
If a gathering is in the future and you know you’ll be around the person, prepare for that before it happens. Consider how you can respond to the sorts of things they are likely to say. When you prepare before a gathering, it’s easier to get through troubling interactions and conversations without stress.
You should also work to be empathetic. Many people have life experiences that cause their negative traits. For instance, someone who has been through a lot might feel angry, resentful, and bitter about the things in their life. This isn’t to say you should excuse the things they do, but it can give you some perspective and empathy for their situation.