Love Languages: How to Strengthen Your Relationships
Let's talk about love languages. I feel like it's something that we hear about all the time and, I think they're very effective to understand even just in basic terms of what it is. And usually when we're talking about love languages we're talking about a partner, an intimate partner, but they are also effective in any sort of relationship with family and friends. So keeping that in mind as well.
What are the five love languages? They are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
I'll very quickly go through each one. They're relatively obvious, but I'll give a little example so that way it's even more obvious.
Physical Touch
So first off, we have words of affirmation, and this is literally verbal expressions of love. So that can be compliments, words of appreciation just simply saying, I love you. Anything that's kind and encouraging for someone that words of affirmation is important to them, that is huge and can go a long way.
Acts of Service
Next is acts of service. This is the old saying of, for some people, actions speak louder than words. Doing something for someone that's thoughtful, like maybe cooking them a meal or helping with a chore or taking the kids to school Any of those things can show love in a very tangible way.
Receiving Gifts
Next is receiving gifts, obvious, but it's not about this materialistic idea of gifts, and the more money you spend or anything like that, it's really more the thoughtfulness behind the gift. Something that's maybe meaningful or a well timed gift. For people that this is important to, that often means that someone's really been listening and they said they needed something or really wanted something. And then out of nowhere, that person ends up getting it. And it's because their partner was listening. So that's a huge way and a very powerful expression of love.
Quality of Time
Fourth, we have quality of time. So this one is all about not just spending the time, but the undivided attention quality time. Focused and meaningful time with somebody, minimal or no distractions, just you and them. That for somebody is how people can feel love. And sometimes that means watching a TV show together. So it doesn't have to mean, and that can be considered a distraction, but if that's something that's important and spending that time and that can work. Or going out to dinner is another one. Taking a walk. Any of those. Putting your phone away, essentially.
Physical Touch
And lastly is physical touch. So for some, physical connection, like holding hands or hugging or any sort of gentle touch on the arm, whatever that is can be a really powerful way for someone to feel loved.
And so for most people, I would say it's not like one of these is the only way they feel love. Most of us, all five are important to some extent. But maybe one or two are really that love language idea that really means the most to somebody.
The importance of a love language is it can improve communication in relationships. And it can enhance emotional connection and understanding.
Just having these practical tips for expressing love is a great way to be with your partner in a way that makes sense to them. You're just speaking their language. And it can be something in daily life that can be helpful.
So I encourage people to have these conversations with your partner and even having them with friends too, what is important to them, I think can just continue to build stronger relationships overall and be really helpful.
So if love languages is something that seems important to you or that you're interested about, it can also be helpful to not only talk to your partner about it, but to also talk to a therapist about it and figure out with them what that can look like. Problem solve with them. Different ways that you can do that. Anytime you're talking to a therapist, you're going to be improving your insight both into yourself of what's important to you and then also into what's important to your partner.