How to Deal with Uncertainty: Practical Tips

Let's talk about coping with uncertainty and building one's psychological flexibility. So uncertainty, I actually literally just talked to a client about this and keeping things very anonymous. But for him, he was, both moving and finding a new job.

And so as you can imagine, one of those alone would be incredibly stressful, but to have two of them in tandem is incredibly overwhelming as he was feeling. So it can be helpful first off to even just define all the uncertainty that's happening and being able to label it can be really helpful.

And then realizing that, I need to be flexible around all of this. And what are the areas that I can control? And what are the areas I can't control? And so it can also be doing things like I can control. I need to prioritize what I can control. I need to make lists of what I can control. I need to be organized.

And then it's also when the mind starts to get really anxious and go down rabbit holes to be able to, first notice that your mind's doing that, because that's a big piece of these automatic thoughts that happen. We don't even notice it's happening. All of a sudden, 20 minutes later, we're just in a fog and we're super anxious and our heart's pounding because we've been going on worst case scenarios and everything that can happen.

So one way is to be mindful and to try to stay present. You're going to want to reframe negative thoughts. And then also, build a support network of people that you can talk to, people that are helpful that you can talk to, whether that's a friend, a family member, a coworker, or a therapist.

And sometimes it can be helpful even just to talk out loud, everything that's bothering you, as opposed to just having it swirl in your mind.

Practical Tips for Coping with Uncertainty

And then moving on to some practical tips. So you're going to want to develop a routine. So having a schedule for yourself is really helpful. So that might mean for two hours in the morning, from 9:00 to 11:00, you're going to be looking for a job.

And then from, 11:00 to 12:00, you take a break, you go for a walk outside. 12:00 to 1:00, you have lunch. 1:00 to 3:00, you look for a place to live, a place to rent, apartment, whatever that looks like for you. So having a really set schedule and incorporating things to take care of yourself, like going for a walk, going to the gym, talking to a friend, whatever that is.

And then next, you're going to want to set realistic goals for yourself. Not a big goal of my goal is to find a job. Great. Yes, that's right. But what are the small goals? And so it's, from 9:00 to 11:00, when I'm looking for a job, I'm going to make sure I apply to two jobs in those two hours. So that means you're going to be writing your cover letter and getting your CV all set. And you're trying to break down what those goals are.

Then next you're going to want to practice some self compassion and being kind to yourself. This uncertainty, like in the example that I gave, these are two major transitions in somebody's life. So of course it's going to make you anxious. Of course, it's going to make you worry. And there's so much unknown, so much uncertainty. So how can you be kind to yourself? Talk to yourself, kindly. Take care of yourself. Do the things you need to do. So that way it's a little bit easier.

And then again, I'm going to just repeat it because it's so important is you're going to focus on what you can control. And the things you can't control, you've got to let go. And you've got to say that to yourself. That right now I can't control. I'm going to have to let that go. I'm going to watch one way to think of it as a mindfulness technique is I'm going to put that thought on a leaf and let that leaf go down that river.

Benefits of Building Psychological Flexibility

So some other things that happen that when you practice all of these tips and these interventions it's going to increase your resilience to be more psychologically flexible. It is going to help you be a better problem solver. It's going to improve your well being. So it will decrease anxiety and possibly depression.

So anytime you can adapt to change better, the better off you're going to be. And it's like a muscle, like anything else, the more you can adapt to change in a flexible way, into the unknown in a flexible way, it will be easier the next time something like this comes around.

And if you're feeling like you're still really overwhelmed after trying these different tips which is also understandable, that might be a time to get extra support and to reach out to a therapist.

At Therapy Now SF, we work all the time with people around anxiety and depression. And often that does stem from just so much unknown and uncertainty or a big transition in your life. And so our therapists are well equipped in helping people handle that and problem solve and get those coping skills and move on and walking you through the step. So you're not alone with them.